Inspired by Julia Squeezer, our 13' Burmese Python. (She didn’t actually say this. We don’t speak Parseltongue. We are just guessing.)

Why such a specific price? Big animals mean big eaters. So big, our annual grocery bill is about  $10,480! Meaning we spend about $28.71 a day at the grocery store. This doesn’t include our gourmet rat purchase for eaters such as Julia. That expense is a whopping $7000 a year! Our animals thank you for a tasty meal!

This t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!